Marriage – Ministry Council of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church

Marriage

Meeting people is hard these days. Dating is too, so I hear. And so, when you finally find the person that you want to commit to, it may seem like you can just relax and coast through life. But that is not how it works. Marriage is hard work. And it is very rewarding when you know that there is a certain someone who will take your side and who will gently tell you when you have something stuck in your teeth.

When “the honeymoon is over,” both literally and figurative, you want to be sure that your marriage is strong, no matter the highs and lows, the joys and the sorrows. And to make that marriage strong, here are five things that might help you in building a relationship that will last a lifetime.

Open and honest communication is crucial to relationship success. We may fear that if we tell our partner the truth, they will get mad, think less of us or be ready to call it quits before we even get started. But being open and honest with your spouse is a good way to be vulnerable and share your true self with them. Beginning the marriage with honesty will lay a good foundation of trust for the future.
Setting clear boundaries is our right and responsibility. Neither partner should be allowed to ride roughshod over the other. Each person should expect to be treated with respect and should be able to trust their partner. In the same way, each person should be willing to show respect and trust. If this doesn’t happen, it is hard to maintain a rich and nourishing marriage.
Understand yourself. Knowing yourself is the key to being able for others to understand you. Take a personality survey with your partner and recognize how you tend to act in certain situations and how your partner can help you rather than irritate you, comfort you rather than rub you the wrong way. Individual meditation with God is a sure way to nurture your faith and discern what your potential is as a couple.
Compromising is not about giving in or undercutting yourself. Compromise is approaching a situation knowing what the most important outcome is to you and what you are willing to give up, to make your partner’s most important outcome happen. It’s not doing something that you don’t like to do. But it may be doing something your partner likes to do because it makes them happy. It may also make it easier for you to ask for what you need the next time.
Remember that you are on the same team. At the end of the day, you have committed your lives to one another in the presence of your family, friends and God. So, know that even if you have a different perspective as your partner, you also know that they love you, they are also committed to the marriage and that they are working toward unity just as you are. In the end, it is just the two of you.